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Paddy McGuinness AO
(Padraic Pearse McGuinness)

The Sydney Morning Herald's comic opera conservative columnist and editor of Quadrant, the low-circulation journal of the rabid right has often featured on these pages.

Scuttlebut has it that The Great Fulminator is paid $250,000 a year by the Herald. Nowadays he churns out but one column a week, so he's making something like $7 a word. Nice work if you can get it.

Alas, Paddy is now much overshadowed in the Herald by Miranda "Tilly" Devine, daughter of the Australian's veteran ranter Frank Devine.

Over the years, Paddy's convoluted logic has brought Nick much pleasure. Here's a selection ...

The Great Quadrant Coup
Shock Horror. The Paddy McGuinness/ Dame Leonie Kramer / Les Murray faction wrest control of Australia's premier low-circulation right wing political magazine from Melbourne's Tory intellectuals.
White trash faction captures control of Quadrant 30 December 1997
Fear and loathing on the fireline -- call for conscription in the war against The Great Harlot Nature 13 January 1998
The rampage goes on -- Hayden, Pearson appointed to Quadrant 24 January 1998 

The Clean Air 2000 affair
In which Nick exposes how the NRMA's hired spindoctors, the notorious international PR firm Hill & Knowlton, were behind the phoney 'Clean Air 2000' campaign ... and the Paddy McGuinnesses make a Gay Mardi Gras appearance.
Greenwash 2000 24 January 1998
Somewhere over the rainbow 22 February 1998

It's no show without Paddy
3 March 99
In which Paddy McGuinness embraces Germain Greer and Nick remembers a few of the ghastly words the old groupie and publicity hound actually wrote in The Female Eunuch ... 

With justice for all and malice towards none
31 March 1999
Nick writes to John Howard about the proposed preamble to the Constitution and urges him to find a better class of friend.
 

Night flight to Timor
18 May 1999
Nick finds himself kicking Kalashnikovs and Paddy McGuinness dolls out of a Cessna Cargomaster over East Timor.

The Vichy Republic of Balmain Peninsula
21 July 1999
Joadja discovers the hidden agenda for the Great Balmain Rebellion on Chardonnay-stained coasters from the Riverview Hotel.

Fats in the ranks
11 August 1999
Nick gets totally confused trying to establish just who Paddy McGuinness's financial advisor is in the Great Balmain Burghers Rebellion ... and no wonder ... for a while the trail seems to lead to the Macquarie Bank and naked bimbos at the Museum of Contemporary Art. 

Making a wilderness and calling it Order
16 September 1999
The TNI continue their rampage and Nick is hired as a security consultant for the big Save East Timor rally. 

The fart of darkness
23 September 1999
In which Nick, Joadja, and Old Possum discuss the hurt feelings of the Indonesian military and the Javanese elite and a huge inflated effigy of Paddy McGuinness appears in the sky above Balmain. 

When Push comes to shove
13 April 2000
In which Joadja discovers Paddy McGuinness is the attorney for atavism and the Rumpole for the reactionaries.

Passing the licence test
25 May 2000
Nick discovers a very curious defence of teachers who have sex with their pupils in one of Paddy McGuinness's columns.

The flight to Versailles
29 June 2000
Crazy rightist commentator Paddy McGuinness and Treasurer Peter Costello fly to Paris for the high season. 

The times they are a'changing back
24 August 2000
The Brushtail Café is trashed by a drunken mob from the new-look Sydney Morning Herald.

The McGuinness nomination
28 January 2003 Nick accidentaly came into possession of rightist columnist Paddy McGuinness's nomination for Officer of the Order of Australia. Now he's free to divulge the contents.